(is) he who he is The last couple months I feel like crap. I was postponing everything, school, my family, internship, blog etcetera. Maybe I still am... but in contrast, my social life was booming.
Still I'm not satisfied. It feels like everybody is going forward, discovering life, seeying the special little things of life and I'm stuck, stuck doing nothing... Being the girl that I always am. This is nothing new for me, let me estimate how many times I feel this way.... uhhmm like four times a year. Ok I'm not being honest, once a month :)
This feeling comes when I feel insecure and kind off strange when I really live my life. When I'm making new friends, discovering new music, new blogs or styles.
I get jealous when people have acieved something. I only dream... And ohh it gets worst when I discovere that they're younger than me or the same age. Ohh and let me check what age I am, fuck I'm eighteen. I don't think it's very healthy to compare me with such things or is it? I am speaking of being the ultimate me/you. Just being who you wanna be, all the things you dreamed of or ever wanted and getting it, nothing is going to stop you untill you've achieved that goal.
Maybe I must stop whining, stop being the one who is standing still, watching her life passing by and just do something!
Not being the peson that had the chance for being the person she/ he wanted to be and didn't grabbed the opportunity. I don't want to look back when I'm a old bittered grandma and say: ''if I had only...''
What also is bothering me is fake people, I can clearly see through you... They smile when something 'funny' happens, you can see their faces cramping and rapidly change their 'happyfaces' back again into their reheaserd look, fake. Don't get me wrong I'm not a Saint.
I just wanna make clear:
This is to everyone, Be your fucking self!
x.
